


Give Not Into Temptation

by teiidae



Series: Nasturtium AU [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cannibalistic Thoughts, Canon Related, M/M, Nasturtium AU, i promise one day i will put all my stuff into a collection in order but until then, if it's not real flesh is it still cannibalism?, join my XigMar cult
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 16:52:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17922662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teiidae/pseuds/teiidae
Summary: It's been a week since Marluxia's joined the Organization and a couple days since he's last been seen. Xigbar swears he knows him but really doesn't want to figure out if that's true. Orders are orders, but Xigbar doesn't always follow orders to the letter anyway. Why should this be any different?Marluxia's just a tool.





	Give Not Into Temptation

It seemed only fair that after a few days without seeing the new recruit, Xigbar would be saddled with getting him out of his room to actually do the job he had been recruited for. Figured that Xemnas wouldn’t even bother with all the agonizing tutorial nonsense this time around. Something about planning and Kingdom Hearts, but Xigbar knew better. Xemnas didn’t want to deal with another brooding zombie for a week.

That didn’t mean that Xigbar was necessarily pleased with the idea. In fact, he’d been avoiding Xemnas for that very reason considering how uneasy the hollowness in his chest squirmed when standing near the new guy. It was an unintended development between the surveillance stage of finding a new Organization member and the recruitment stage. He had been able to combat it when standing in the shadows with Xemnas, but now Xigbar was certain that he knew this guy.

He wasn’t sure how, but there had been an uncomfortable throbbing in his chest since he first laid eyes on him. Something about the way he carried himself that made the lightbulb glow and the stifling blanket of familiarity drape over him. Tepid, but very real and very unwelcome.

He absolutely hated this part of the job.

Xemnas had christened him Mar--something. It was a beautiful sounding name, but wouldn’t do much if he didn’t respond to it. Xigbar hadn’t bothered to remember the old name either, but sometimes in the first few days, it helped to know it. It would sometimes coax them into a relaxed state instead of wild recklessness. Saix had been absolutely feral, flailing around and trying bite and snap at things before Xemnas muzzled him and bent his knee. The scars had healed with a permanent reminder of who was in charge.

So far, the new guy was quiet. Eerily so.

That usually meant that something was afoot.

The Castle That Never Was would expand in some fashion to accommodate new members. A subtle shift and suddenly there was a new room or a new hallway. This one, though not secluded, was on a different floor from his own, which made walking to it burdensome, and warping wasn’t an option when the Castle was still settling into a new form. An absolutely pointless inclusion on the part of Xemnas, their fearless leader. Most of the new recruits didn’t know how to open corridors anyway.

Perhaps this was the old man’s idea of a joke.

Xigbar looked at his file and then folded it, sliding it into an inner pocket. He’d almost forgotten what he was even here for amidst all his internal complaining. He was supposed to be escorting Marluxia to the Grey Area and then throwing him out into the worlds to see what he could do.

“Knock knock,” Xigbar called as he rapped his knuckles against the featureless white door. A dull sound echoed in the otherwise empty hallway. “Time for breakfast, kiddo. Can’t have you dying on us. Bossman said no more dead bodies.”

The door remained stubbornly closed, though there was a lifeless air about it. It reeked of somber nectar. Dead flowers. Regret and fear. Marluxia was ignoring him.

Xigbar knocked again out of a false sense of courtesy and the door slid open, though there was no one on the other side. Oops, looks like he’d just have to let himself in. What a shame!

The inside of Marluxia’s room was a bit humid compared to the hallway. Featureless white and grey walls. A single bed that looked like it hadn’t been used. All the lights were off, with only the faintest light coming from the sliver of moon that hung outside in the dark sky. By the window, barely silhouetted by the moon’s light, sat the new recruit, Marluxia. He was a haughty shadow, his pink hair being the only thing that framed his otherwise black form. It was a beautiful and melancholic hue. Like flower petals. There was a mystical glow about it that warned Xigbar of impending doom.

Marluxia’s form did not move, not even to draw breath, though Xigbar could feel his presence. A thick fog smelling of dried autumn leaves settled over the two of them.

“Talk about disheartening,” Xigbar muttered. “Hey. Marluxia. Over here.”

“Go away.” The voice was hollow. Dead.

“Can’t do that, kiddo, you’ve got work to do.”

Xigbar was met with silence. The file had mentioned that there was already the presence of magical stability, but Xigbar knew better than to follow orders to the letter. Saix was the one to write these memos now that he was handling administrative tasks and he hadn’t quite gotten the hang of noting the most important details. Something likely had been missing. Normal magic users didn’t feel like this. This was a deliberate choice. A warning to back off.

Only vapid, cruel creatures sent these kinds of warnings.

The urge to be cheeky formed a hard lump in the pit of Xigbar's stomach. He loved a challenge especially when the contender actually showed promise. A good sign despite the knotted tension in the room.

“I’d ask why the long face, but I can’t see it right now,” Xigbar continued, inching more into the room. “And you don’t seem the fun type. Too serious for my blood.”

“I said go away,” Marluxia hissed. “Leave me alone.”

“What, and miss your first mission?” Xigbar shot back. “As if. I’m your mentor in case you forgot. I’d be a pretty bad teacher if I just left you to your own devices.”

Nevermind that he had intended to do that from the start. Neither of them wanted Xigbar here, so the electrifying distaste was mutual, if for very different reasons. There was probably a bagel in the kitchen with Xigbar’s name on it.

As Xigbar crossed the room, black coat held close to his body, he reached into the inbetween to draw upon his weapon. Just in case Marluxia wanted to try challenging the lines of authority already. He had the sinking suspicion that Marluxia was feigning this act to get the jump on him and make an escape attempt. Not everybody immediately accepted their new purpose. If they were strong-willed enough to create a human looking Nobody in the first place, denying the purpose given to them by a total stranger was just par for the course. And even though he hadn't been paying much attention, Xigbar could recognize potential. Sometimes even better than Xemnas. He had to remind himself that _he_ had picked this one. _He_ had been the one to go through the measures of finding his human heart and _he_ had been the one to make the appeal to Xemnas. If he was blindsided by this man, it would only be because _he'd been chosen for that craftiness._

Xigbar couldn't blame him for wanting to escape from a life of total servitude. That would be hypocritical. And he was no hypocrite.

“I must admit, you're kinda hyping me up with all the silence.” It was like talking to a brick wall. “It would be a waste if you thought you were being a clever boy and it turned out to be disappointing. Better make it count, newbie.”

Maybe if he teased Marluxia, the other would bother to move.

Xigbar blinked and tensed as Marluxia shifted. It was such an awkward movement that Xigbar mistook it for an attempt to be threatening, and a crooked smile spread across his lips. It was a nice try. The room filled with an intense sugary aroma.

“As I suspected.” Why did his blood feel so cold all of a sudden? “Gotta hand it to ya, kiddo, you almost got me. Your Proof is fitting.” Not that he could remember what it was off the top of his head.

He reached out, muscles coiled in preparation to strike if it came to it. He gripped what he thought was Marluxia's shoulder when, in a furl of fabric, Marluxia struck out at him with a glint of pink metal. Xigbar only just barely called Sharpshooter to his hand to stop the blade. The two of them were showered in sparks and Xigbar saw the glow of blue under the curtain of pink hair. In that haze, he saw eyes that bred malice and breathed hatred. Marluxia had struck to kill. What a naughty boy.

Feisty.

Xigbar's initial shock wore off instantly as Marluxia struck at him again. Xigbar wasn't the up close and personal fighter typically, but the motions felt familiar. Marluxia held his weapon like a sword and swung with the muscle memory of a previous life he could no longer remember. There was confidence laced in his movements. Xigbar disappeared in a snap of space and took aim from the shadows. Very interesting. Marluxia hadn't been this violent when they first crossed paths.

“Good job, kiddo. Nice form.” _Nice form?_ “Too bad you're mid range now.” _What was he even talking about? That part of him was dead._

He aimed a white dart of energy at Marluxia, which blasted from the steely blue tip of Sharpshooter and arced across the room in the blink of an eye. He wasn’t shooting to kill. Just to injure, or, as a joke. Couldn’t really tell the difference anymore. The dart buried itself into Marluxia's shoulder and Xigbar snorted as he fired another dart, and then another.

“Not going to bother surprising me? That's reckless.” Another flash of light as an arrow buried between those blue eyes and Marluxia collapsed. “I expected more from you. Talk about failing to meet expectations. Guess I’ll just have to mark it on your report card.”

Marluxia's form shuddered and expanded until it burst into a shower of thick cherry blossom petals and wisps of darkness. Xigbar inhaled sharply. A doppelganger? And more concerning: he hadn’t noticed?

“I take it back,” Xigbar said, voice chilling. Spooked. “Clever boy.”

Xigbar turned on his heels and made his way to the door, which remained open. The pointed black and purple shell of a Sniper Nobody appeared before him, floating eerily in place, awaiting instruction. It held a crossbow weapon at the ready, having felt the mild alarm from the summon.

“Our little flower boy has run off,” Xigbar said. “Xemnas said there can't be a wedding without a flower boy. Track him down. He's probably lost.”

The Sniper made a saluting motion and disappeared in an odd warping of space akin to its master’s. Xigbar enveloped himself in the void of darkness and reappeared on a perch atop the tallest turret of The Castle That Never Was, turning his golden eye to the rest of the complex. The Altar of Naught was the perfect vantage point for finding and ultimately catching a slippery serpent trying to flee. It was a shame that the new recruit turned out to be a coward. Reminded him of when Demyx first regained control over his husk of a body. Man tried to run and when he was caught and put to work, he made extra sure to make Xemnas regret it.

With middling results.

Xigbar felt like an old man.

“Any sign of him?” Xigbar asked.

He received a blink of understanding from the Nobodies under his control. He was at Nothing’s Call, the bottommost entrance of the Castle. Well, that didn't take long. Xigbar stood straighter and stretched, popping his shoulders and elbows as he prepared another corridor of darkness. However, seconds later, he received another blink of understanding. No, Marluxia was on Naught’s Skyway, skulking around the Castle balconies. He was in the Grey Area. In the Round Room. The Addled Impasse.

Xigbar blinked slowly. Were they all illusions? Doppelgangers crafted of flowers? Some of them had to be, he reasoned.  There was no way he could actually divide himself like that. This was turning out to be a lot more work than he had originally anticipated and he chided himself for being so dismissive at first. That was a bad habit he was going to have to break come time for bigger targets, lest it be his downfall in the future.

As if.

“Strike them down. They're fakes.”

A few moments later, all the Snipers returned confirmation that these Marluxias were fakes. Piles of flower petals reformed into shells that each had a finite amount of magic to defend themselves with. No sign of the real one.

Xigbar pinched the bridge of his nose, dragging his thumb across the grotesque scar on his cheek in contemplative habit. Where the hell was this guy?

He turned his attention back to the World That Never Was at large. The Castle itself was far removed from the rest of the world to account for continuing growth as more worlds in the Realm of Light fell into darkness and Heartless and Nobodies were born at an alarming rate. Xemnas really did play the long game. However, south of the Castle was a sprawling cityscape that was usually overflowing with Heartless. Rarely, missions would entail culling the population to make sure the entire place wasn't overwhelmed. It was meant to be a temporary measure until Xemnas found the right member to actually exterminate them. Even more rarely than culling missions were missions to export the Heartless to a world to wreak havoc on an unsuspecting population.

A job mostly done remotely by Xemnas. The cityscape was seldom visited otherwise.

Is that where the flower boy went?

“Pack it up, ladies and gents,” Xigbar called. “Spread into the city. Make sure he doesn’t get consumed by the pests.”

Xigbar disappeared and, in an instant, reappeared within the limits of Dark City. Almost as soon as his leathered boots touched the top of Memory’s Skyscraper, the black clouds conjoined in a crackling of electricity, and sheets of rain pelted the city, mirroring the neon lights and making everything slick. Xigbar drew his hood up and called Sharpshooter to his hands again.

Memory's Skyscraper was only good for two things: watching the city and addling brains. The huge screen that was affixed to the top of the massive structure would draw from the memories of whomever stood in its presence as a grim reminder of all the moral failings that brought poor fools to this point. When unused, it was black and it buzzed quietly as it scanned for images to display. Xigbar took a deep breath as the screen flickered to life, drawing upon his power and displaying...static.

No way was he letting his guard down when a manipulative and deceitful mentee was wandering around. Xigbar wouldn't even dream of it.

“Any sign of him yet?”

Xigbar received more telepathic blinks of understanding. It was constant and it felt like Marluxia was somehow toying with him. Tricking the Snipers into seeing something that wasn't there.

It now felt like every few minutes, Xigbar received another indication that Marluxia was nearby, though every single one fell in a pile of flowers as soon as the order was given. At least they were on the right track. The hiss of the rain made it difficult to hear the natural rhythm of the city. Globs of Heartless began to stir in the darkest corners, undulating in place and stretching outwards as something disturbed them. Xigbar blinked as a particularly tumultuous mass of the creatures began to spread out into the streets.

Odd behavior.

He followed after the mass, which wound its way through the alleys and into the sewers, reforming in tighter spaces. The mass was teeming and seemed hellbent on reaching something out in the city. Xigbar arched an eyebrow as the inky mass curled through a final alleyway before rearing up, a mindless predator about to strike.

“Found your target, huh?” Xigbar cracked a smile. “Bet it’s pink.”

Xigbar strolled across the gap between buildings, flanked by Snipers. The rules of gravity and spatial boundaries didn't apply to him when he had total control over that magic. The Heartless mass couldn’t reach him where he was, and he found himself observing. His chuckles were concealed under the heavy hiss of rain. This was too rich.

In the center of a paved square, surrounded by Heartless, was Marluxia, though he looked far more lively than the one he’d found in that humid bedroom and the ones scattered all over the Castle. Just how long had he been at this?

Marluxia looked exhausted. He still held his weapon like an awkward sword and not a scythe. It was a rather impressive weapon regardless of how poorly it was handled in the moment. Elegant in design, and devastating in presence. This was a weapon that was meant for reaping and culling. Destroying and cultivating.

If Xigbar had to guess, he'd say that Marluxia tried to make sense of his surroundings. And when approached by odd creatures attempting to prevent his departure, he fought back. Impressive really. Usually, the wriggling of the Dusks was enough to spook the inhuman shells that still believed themselves to be whole. Humans, after all, were often afraid of things they didn’t understand. Though Xigbar almost specifically remembered Marluxia's previous self begging to be released from the memories that tortured him. The memories that made him distinctly human. Made sense that he wouldn't be afraid of anything if he had so willingly given up emotion to escape those very fears.

Marluxia had a natural penchant for combat, made obvious by the way he cleaved through the Heartless attempting to grab him.

Xigbar frowned. The Heartless were acting particularly gluttonous. Heartless would normally leave the Nobodies alone even if they had been disturbed. Heartless wanted hearts. Nobodies didn't have hearts. It was Biology 101. Looked like Marluxia was skipping lectures as well. Naughty naughty.

However, as Xigbar watched longer, he noticed that Marluxia had a way of moving around a single spot. Guarding it. Guarding? From the Heartless?

A faint glimmer shone in a break of black mass. A heart. Ripe for the taking. Why was Marluxia trying to protect it?

In classic fashion, Xigbar hung upside down in the air and he lowered himself until his ponytail dangled just out of reach. “Need some help?” he asked. “Looks like you're getting overwhelmed.”

Almost as if on cue, Marluxia was swarmed by Shadows. He sliced through them rather sloppily, but his wider arc gave him more room to pivot. The glimmer grew brighter. Flickering. Enticing. Pure. Xigbar understood instantaneously.

“It won't do you any good, kiddo,” Xigbar added lazily. “Might as well pack it in now. Take it from a trusted and well respected superior officer.” He jabbed a thumb at himself proudly, a beacon of authority.

Marluxia growled at him, swinging his scythe at the dangling ponytail. “Leave me alone!”

Xigbar cocked his head and his hair narrowly skirted out of the blade's arc. “As if. You have a job to do and I'm not too happy that the wedding's getting postponed because the flower boy decided to run away from home.”

Another futile swing out of frustration.

“And the groom is gonna be so mad.” Xigbar laughed. “Go home, flower boy. I won't ask again.”

Marluxia didn't lash out a third time. It would be useless to keep trying to attack a target that was so far out of reach. He didn't know quite what his new arsenal of abilities would allow him, but now was not the time to figure it out. Xigbar had come to stop him from taking it.

The heart.

It glistened in the rain, though the pelting sheets had subsided into a more favorable and manageable drizzle. The Heartless were still swarming; after the same thing. The heart. Marluxia was entranced by it. A tiny thing that radiated so much energy that even in the dead of night under a curtain of freezing cold water, he felt the warmth. It pulsed gently as it spun in place. Marluxia wanted it. Needed it.

And he would foolishly drive himself into exhaustion before he would allow it to be consumed by anything other than him. This one for sure would fill the cavity in his chest. This one would - for sure - would stop the aching. There was no other explanation. This one was stronger than the last. It had to work. It had to.

Xigbar raised an eyebrow and allowed himself to fall to the ground, landing neatly on his toes, Sharpshooter at the ready. His flanking Snipers flitted into position and Xigbar snorted as the Snipers dispatched of all the inky black Heartless. They would probably need more room for Marluxia to have his little temper tantrum.

“Look at you, already enslaved to your desires,” Xigbar sighed. “And here I thought I actually made a good decision this time. Shame on this dazzling confidence, am I right?”

Marluxia lowered his weapon, the blade of the scythe digging into the asphalt and vibrating with energy. Xigbar had positioned himself in front of the heart, which still spun in place gently. It was as if Xigbar were ushering it away. After all, all hearts went back to Kingdom Hearts and that moon wasn't going to build itself, was it? Until they had a Keyblade wielder under their thumb, every heart that naturally came to them was precious. This little outburst would not stop their progress and Xigbar would sooner perish than let a naughty neophyte challenge him in this way.

“I said it won't do you any good, but you're already lost.” Xigbar tensed. Why was he so upset? “Disappointing!”

Marluxia gripped the handle of his scythe and wrenched it out of the asphalt, cracking it more. He wasn't afraid of this man. Quite the contrary. He approached slowly, curling himself into a tightly coiled knot and trying to wrangle that excess energy into a more tangible form. Something that would be able to, at the very least, keep Xigbar occupied for a few moments.

Xigbar rolled his eye in equal parts impatience and anticipation. He hadn't had a real opportunity to size Marluxia up since he'd been indoctrinated. Until now, Marluxia had been slouching or kneeling to make his pain stop. He'd been preoccupied with the aftershocks of dying in such a unique way. But now that the haunting man was approaching, Xigbar realized that he was much taller than he had originally assumed, and he was far more intimidating than Xemnas had given him credit for. Marluxia was dangerous. Deceptively so. But he was also gorgeous and Xigbar had to force himself to scowl or Marluxia would get the better of him.

“Oh, my mistake,” Marluxia whispered softly, leaning forward so he could be nose to nose with Xigbar. “I hadn’t realized that there was order to this chaos. I hadn’t realized that I was supposed to answer to _you_. You do not have authority that is worthy of my attention, I’m afraid.”

Xigbar had to catch his breath in his throat, half in offense and half in captivation. Nobody had ever spoken to him like that before. Challenged him so readily. His brain grew foggy as he was washed with the floral scents that Marluxia created with his mere presence. Sweet Alyssum wafted between them and Xigbar drank in the scent, relaxing his shoulders and exhaling. His breath was stale, reminiscent of empty ale casks and treated wood. Depressing. Probably should have brushed his teeth before his stroll.

What was he doing? He was supposed to be bringing Marluxia back to the Castle so he could be put to work. Why couldn’t he focus?

Marluxia was overwhelming. All-encompassing in a way that Xemnas was not. Even as Xigbar narrowed his eye and shook his head, he was swimming in the deep blue pools of Marluxia’s eyes. He was captured by a snare of deliberately crafted and applied aromas and sensations. The soft rain, the floral arrangement, the intensity of a serpent staring directly into what was left of his soul.

His lips were warmed by the other's. All that build up released in a cloud of steam between them. What was happening? Why couldn’t he move?

“Now, if you will excuse me,” Marluxia murmured, cheeks flushed. “I believe I had business to attend to. Right.” Hunger flared to life, crystallized by the chilling nature of what he intended to do.

Xigbar, still dazed by the smell of flowers, hummed in affirmation. “Of course. Eat your heart out, darling. Not gonna change a thing.”

It would be pointless anyway. When begged by the Snipers to instruct them, Xigbar turned a blind eye. No. The bad boy would have to learn his lesson just like everybody else. What a troublemaker. Xigbar sighed, shaking with the effort to push out whatever magical influence Marluxia had put on him. Some sort of poison?

He knew it wasn’t poison.

He was entranced by Marluxia. By his potential and how easily he played the coy lover. The seducer. Xigbar wanted to consume that fantasy immediately and without thought.

The numbing sensation left his body and he turned slowly to watch Marluxia give in to the temptation of fulfillment. A strong heart was a hard thing to resist. Even Xigbar wasn’t immune from the flash of desire that overcame him. He had learned that it didn’t matter long ago after making his own mistakes. Nobodies who consumed hearts were subjecting themselves to torment. The filling feeling never lasted. It was a dangerous thing to get addicted to. Some never came back from it. Some never had the willpower to resist to begin with.

Xigbar grew conflicted. Whatever paralyzing magic Marluxia had used had worn off and Xigbar was faced with the agonizing understanding that no matter what he did now, he wouldn’t be able to convince Marluxia to stay put and wait until the feeling passed. He should have been paying closer attention. He shouldn’t have left Marluxia to his own devices for so long. He should have been a better mentor.

He should have displayed that authority. Grasped the reigns of leadership at the fulcrum of Marluxia's new existence as a sharpened tool of destruction.

He likely would have seen the signs of descent long before now. He likely would have been approached. Likely would have had these feelings confessed to him long before now. Marluxia hadn’t been stupid. Xigbar rarely picked targets who were absolutely incapable of piecing thoughts together. Xigbar would have snubbed Marluxia, chastised him for even entertaining the idea, but he could have done something to curb this appetite. A gentle guiding hand. A more forceful one if he absolutely had to wrangle that defiance into place.

He fucked up and now Marluxia was going to have to pay the price for that laziness. Which wouldn’t have bothered Xigbar so much if he knew exactly why his heart squeezed itself so tightly when he stared at Marluxia’s back. That desperate feeling creeped up on him again, worming into the cracks of his facade, pressing slimy claws against the inside of his chest.

Xigbar knew him. Somehow. He knew this man and he had destroyed him in a way that was nearly impossible to go back to.

He squeezed his eye shut and took a deep breath. Now was not the time to lose his composure. Now was not the time to falter. Marluxia was just a tool after all. He was only here to serve a single purpose, even if it took a while to get to that point.

Xigbar’s fingers twitched. He reasoned that he should just exert that control over Marluxia. Bind him. Destroy him in the same way he had for every flowery construct before now. That’s what Xemnas would have done. That’s what Xemnas would have instructed if he were here.

Focus! He had to focus on what happened next.

An etherealness cloaked Marluxia in a glowing halo. Angelic and cancerous to The World That Never Was. He didn’t belong here. Not to serve the purpose he had been inducted for. He was the very embodiment of death itself. Stagnant in design, efficient in skirting around those that intended to stop him. Even now, as he crouched before the gleaming heart, he was intoxicating. Xigbar wanted to stop him, but he also found himself wanting to watch Marluxia work.

True death was merely the next step for a heart with no place to go.

This was the lowest form of depravity. The absolute bottom a Nobody of their caliber could hit. Mindlessly consuming hearts like an animal devoid of reason. Xigbar took another, deeper breath as he schooled his train of thought. Surely Marluxia wouldn’t stoop that low. Surely he would realize before he became irredeemable.

_Surely he could be worthy._

This thought gave way to a darker and more perverse line of thinking. _He should just shoot him._

Marluxia remained crouched in front of the spinning heart, basking in the warmth and drowning in envy as he removed his gloves. This thing - this bodiless thing - was everything that he was not. Alive. Emotional. Brimming with potential. Purposeless.

He hated this thing. He could hardly fathom why. One moment, he was also directionless, warm, and emotional and the next, he was here. Listening to a man who did not know him and burning with an aching familiarity. Under the guise of listless wandering and ignorance, Marluxia had picked up on a great deal and he hated every single second of it.

Lectured about not having a heart, brainwashed into believing that he could regain that if Kingdom Hearts was completed. That sliver of moon that dripped sprinkles of light onto an otherwise dark landscape. How could Kingdom Hearts give him a heart if there was a perfectly acceptable one right in front of him?

Marluxia reached to the bubbling mass, expecting his hand to pass right through the miasma. To his surprise, it was solid. Or rather, solid enough to touch, though it moved around his hand with tiny tendrils of light. Fascinating. The longer he observed, the more his mouth began to water. The more he descended into a limitless shattering of his sense of self.

_Eat it. Consume it. Take what’s yours._

His own desperation was what had done him in. He grasped the heart, squeezed the light out of it, and in a stilted motion, brought the fading mass to his lips. His identity evaporated, dulling to a mindlessness saved for those who lost themselves. He hadn’t even realized that he was faltering. The warmth filled him. Enveloped his nonexistence in an invitation to give in to that sinful greed. There was nothing that could stop him from enjoying those fleeting moments. Nothing that could take this from him. This heart was his and his alone.

Until death did they part.

Marluxia closed his eyes, the struggling tendrils of light pinched in his teeth. That was the rain making him tremble. That was the darkness begging him to stop being a monster.

Xigbar curled his hands into fists, the soft leather of his gloves stressing again the threads. He was going to tear himself apart because he wanted two completely different and diametrically opposed things at the same time. He wanted to see what Marluxia was willing to do to get what he wanted and he wanted to preserve that potential for as long as possible. Boil it down into a physical manifestation that could be wielded like a honed blade.

He wanted to control that cataclysmic vortex when it finally overflowed from the gorgeous container that Xigbar had gone through the monumental effort to create.

Marluxia was a storm.

Lauriam was a storm.

And Xigbar couldn’t have that absolute control if he let Marluxia slip into the folds of addiction. He had to pull him away from the light _before_ he figured out how to properly fight back. He had to tame Marluxia before he slipped away.

Marluxia felt a strong hand in his hair. In a swift pull, Xigbar had closed the distance between them, fingers tangled in those pink locks, ripping Marluxia back and delivering the first forceful jab right into his stomach.

“No! I will not let you waste your potential you stubborn little shit.”

Xigbar, enraged, snarled as he struggled to pull the zipper of Marluxia's black coat down. Paled flesh flushed red in a chaotic scramble to redraw that breath. Get its bearings before it was overcome. Marluxia's body panicked and Xigbar wasn't going to let him regain his footing. He dug his hand into Marluxia's stomach again, feeling for the unmistakable lumps of light and purity that were festering.

They were still soft. Not yet digested. Xigbar massaged Marluxia’s abdomen, encouraging him to bring those hearts back up. Marluxia choked as he tried to swallow, but Xigbar wasn’t going to allow that.

“Spit it out!” Xigbar commanded, tearing his glove off with his teeth. “Lauriam! Spit it out!”

Marluxia blinked as lights clouded his vision. What did Xigbar just call him? He hit the ground and Xigbar squatted over him, hand gripping his throat. He was being asked to do something, but he couldn’t. This heart was his. All of the hearts were his.

Marluxia had barely a moment to gather his energy before Xigbar pried his mouth open and plunged gloveless fingers in, scooping the gelatinous heart out of his mouth. Marluxia struggled. No, this couldn't be happening that heart was his. That heart was his!

He growled and gnashed his teeth into the knuckle. Pushed Xigbar’s face away, slapping him weakly as his body revolted against him. His stomach throbbed in pain, twisting and contorting and heaving. Whatever Xigbar had done to him was forcing his body to expel all the contents of his stomach. Marluxia rolled on his side, doubled over as Xigbar probed the inside of his mouth and another gelatinous mass surged up and out of his system, followed by another, smaller mass. All of them made of the same dulling miasma. All hearts that Marluxia had consumed.

As Xigbar extracted each heart, his voice grew gentler, and he tossed the hearts aside so they could continue their way to Kingdom Hearts where they belonged. He remained delicate in his handling still, even though it was a chore to do so. Did Marluxia not realize what this would do to him? Did he not realize how much effort this took? Did he not realize how intimate this was?

How maddening?

So inconsiderate.

Xigbar ran his hands through Marluxia's hair, trying to smooth it back into place despite it being stringy and wet now. It was okay that Marluxia didn't know better. It was okay that Marluxia had abandoned humanity to do whatever he pleased. Xigbar appreciated that. He almost craved validation from the other man. They could achieve so much together so long as Xigbar kept Marluxia within arm's reach. So long as he kept Marluxia in check.

He was whispering something but Marluxia couldn’t hear him as his body reacted more and more violently. The hearts were getting away. He was letting them get away. His hearts. That warmth. Immediately, he was plunged into that sphere of pain that reminded him of that emptiness. An icy cold draft blown directly into everything he was.

All he could do was stare into the darkness as Xigbar caressed him.

When the last of the muffled light had disappeared into the sliver of moon, Xigbar withdrew his fingers and plopped down next to Marluxia, the pooled water soaking through all his clothes as the rain continued to drench them. He rested a hand on Marluxia’s side and rubbed it gently.

He'd saved that investment. Good fucking call.

Marluxia hadn't gone completely insane though Marluxia likely wouldn't see it that way. Xigbar hadn’t handled this nearly as well as he would have liked but they were both in one piece and that was probably good enough. He’d been so wrapped up in his own lackadaisical ramblings that he’d almost thrown his own opportunities away. Funny how he did actually remember the important details. He’d deny it, of course, if Marluxia asked about it later.

He had so much to learn.

“You won’t be the first to fail to keep yourself in check, kiddo. Don’t make a big deal of it.”

Marluxia struggled to breathe but did not respond. He heard that disappointment. This was a display of weakness and he knew it and he hated it. Though Marluxia had a subtle flash of intuition crawl over him, unsure if that disappointment was with his actions or if Xigbar was talking about something else.

Xigbar laughed. “What a troublemaker. You’re on broom duty until you get all the flowers up off the floor, you hear me? Doing time and doing crimes. You know how it is.”

“This is a weakness,” Marluxia wheezed, voice still hollow. _Was Xigbar deflecting?_

“Yes, it is,” Xigbar replied. His voice grew stern as the rain stopped and he got to his feet. “Better not let Xemnas see you like that. I won’t tell you again, kiddo. Should have listened the first time.”

The warning was not lost on him. Marluxia’s bad habit immediately steeled itself.

Xigbar nudged Marluxia with his foot. He’d gotten his recruit back, seen him fall right into pits of despair, and now he had to account for the hundred thousand or so flower petals strewn all over the place and the undoubted bruising on his hand from shoving it halfway down another man’s throat. He could honestly go for a bagel right about now. Maybe he’d even get one for Marluxia.

“Hope you like asiago.”

**Author's Note:**

> I think if I offer enough XigMar content to the world, that someone else will also offer XigMar content and only then will true happiness be possible. Join my XigMar cult.


End file.
